Sunday, December 12, 2010
The problem is certain women’s increase in physical attractiveness has been disproportional to their increase in psychosis. Luckily for us, a chart exists where we can see just how out of balance the ratio between your hotness and craziness has become - knowledge that can prove to be invaluable over the course of your daily life.
Now, you know how hot you are. But you probably have no idea how crazy you are – a major contributing factor to the problem. That’s where the great Professor Muhamad Arif comes to the rescue. Be honest and rate your hotness from 1-10. Then, take the following simple quiz I’ve designed to see where you fall on the hot/crazy scale.
1. You’re walking down the street and see Brad Pitt. You:
a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.
2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:
a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.
3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:
a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.
4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:
a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.
5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:
a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.
6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:
a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.
7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:
a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.
8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:
a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.
9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:
a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.
10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:
a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart… then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”
To find your “Crazy” rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. Take that total and divide by two. You now have your crazy number.
Now, using your self-assigned hot number, find your position on the Muhamad Arif Hot/ Crazy scale. Remember, you want to find yourself located on the hot side, not the crazy side. If the results are not to your liking, please adjust your appearance or personality accordingly.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Hey awesome blog-readers. I’ve decided to take some time from my awesome life to write into my awesome blog. As you probably already knew, I very nearly got fired last week. But then my employers realized how awesome I am and decided to promote me instead. But on a more important note, I finally did something that even some of the greatest players in history haven’t been able to achieve…a perfect week. Yes gentlemen, I Muhamad Arif finally achieved a perfect week. For my less awesome blog readers who do not know what a perfect week is… a perfect week is achieved when an awesome individual (in this case me) has one night dinner with seven women in seven consecutive days. The term “Perfect week” was first coined by Alexander the Great after completing the incredible achievement himself thousands of years ago. Among other notable people who accomplished this include George Washington, and most recently Tiger Woods(..that guy’s awesome). Accomplishing the feat wasn’t very easy. Take a look at how the first day went:
Me at Restaurant Azura, it’s about seven in the evening and this really cute blonde at the left table keeps looking back at me. So I walk up to her and I ask..”What are you talking about me?”…She smiles and seductively leans towards me and whispers..”My apartment is about five minutes away from here”. And five minutes later, we were at her apartment doing something….True Story
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
ni la game yang ayip suka main hari - hari.. tak main sehari rasa macam tak perfect hidup.. kira macam 2nd life la pulak.. tapi sekarang nak cuba kurang - kurangkan main game.. banyak dah membazir duit kat game ni .. mungkin sekarang tiba masanya untuk quit .. ^.^
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
1.Motor Baru (Yahama 135 lc)
2.Lesen Memandu Kereta & Moto
3.Cuti 1 minggu ke Bali (indonesia)
5.Laptop Allien Ware
6.Jam Tangan Rolex
7.Canon DSLR Camera
8.Masuk Kerja lambat
sekian itulah top 10 wishlist saya buat masa ini.. mungkin banyak lagi .. tapi ini antara yang saya inginkan .. kene usaha keras lagi baru boleh dapat semua benda ni..